Help for Those Who Empower Others
Help for Those who Empower Others
Many of us work with others in educational and social service settings where we are required to help our youth or our clients with issues regarding self-esteem and self-worth. As we know, these are key to improving the quality of life. This article contains tips for helping those who we empower to increase their esteem, learn to appreciate their value, and improve relationships, thus; the first step to improving the quality of their lives.
How to Get More Out of a Relationship That You Value
Self Esteem is about self reflection, action, and reaction. Do you keep getting in relationships where it seems as if you’re being taken for granted–where you give, and you give, but get little or nothing in return? Are you beginning to wonder why people keep treating you this way? If so, you are probably also feeling pretty confused, sad, and are beginning to lose what little confidence you had in yourself.
It can be very hard to maintain your self esteem and self confidence when you receive little appreciation and it seems as if the other person just doesn’t care. Read on and discover a three-step self-esteem lesson plan for creating love and respect in all your relationships.
Are you in a relationship where you think you’re being used, and not appreciated? Are you beginning to think that you must be doing something that gives the impression that you are not worth making an effort for–that you are perceived as the one who meets needs without requiring any reciprocal effort to meet yours as well?
If so, your self-esteem is probably at a low point and you are bound to feel less than confident. This scenario creates a vicious cycle– low self-esteem creates how you feel– how you feel creates how you act and in turn how others react to you. Now is the time to stop this vicious cycle by breaking the chain of your low self-esteem. How then is this great feat accomplished?
The very first thing to do if your esteem is not what it needs to be is to treat yourself as worthy. Love yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want from others. Loving and accepting yourself is the first step to creating relationships of mutual respect and consideration.
Next, learn the three beginning steps below; they will help you practice self-love and are guaranteed to increase your self-esteem. By practicing these self-love techniques you will automatically start treating yourself as the worthy being that is your true nature. And in turn, so will others.
Explore Your Thinking
Secondly, whether you’re aware of it or not, the thoughts that you think generate the way you feel about yourself. The way you feel about yourself governs the actions you take, which in turn creates your life.
Most of us have been raised in cultures that teach us to focus only on what’s happening in our environment. When you always focus on what’s going on “out there”, it’s very challenging to really know what’s going on “in here”–to know yourself and understand what’s most important to you. If this is the case, then whenever something happens “out there” that you don’t enjoy, all you know to do is try to and change your external circumstances. This is hopeless because the only thing you truly have control over is your internal reactions to your external circumstances.
To practice this step, we suggest you start by exploring your “low self-esteem” thinking. You begin by using your feelings as an alarm. The next time you feel uncomfortable in any way, try to identify what you were thinking about just before you started feeling uncomfortable.
Identify What is Most Important to You
The 3rd step that helps to increase self-esteem is to discover what’s most important to you? What do you value most? What is so important to you that’s missing in a particular situation and making you feel the way you feel? This will help you discover who you truly are. There are values are hidden beneath your everyday actions, reactions, and feelings. For example, underneath a sense of deep sadness, you might discover caring and consideration are very important to you. Caring and consideration might be missing in your life. What is hidden beneath your anger? What is hidden behind your feelings of helplessness? What is hidden beneath your depression? What is hidden beneath your feelings of nervousness? Go deep beneath your feelings and find out what you value. Upon reflection and deep investigation of yourself, you will find wonderful qualities that you can enjoy and learn to love, making it easier for others to love you the way you want to be loved.
Enjoy Your Own Company
Finally, take steps to appreciate who you are. Although at times we may feel very lonely. We can learn to stop feelings of loneliness at its onset. The very first moment you start to feel uncomfortable, the thing to do is to turn your thoughts to what is most important to you beneath your feelings. This will help you to appreciate YOU. You can appreciate that you are someone who desires caring and consideration. You can appreciate that you are someone who values understanding and effectiveness. Aren’t these the qualities that we appreciate in others?
Self-esteem is all about self-love. Using the self-love techniques, we are guaranteed to find the best friend we’ve ever had, and will be well on our way to mastering the art of self-love and acceptance, especially when we begin to feel lonely. With practice we gain the confidence to begin asking for what we want in all our relationships and never settle for less than we want again.
Knowing clearly what we value makes it much easier to identify when it is missing and figure out how to get it. This is the surest path we know of to get the love and respect we want in all our relationships. Understanding yourself and taking steps to build your own esteem, you will find that you will break the cycle of mistreatment, abuse, and unhappiness in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, as well as your mate.
